After 36 weeks of hemming and hawing, I finally got my induction put on the schedule. This has been a frustrating experience because my job needs 30 day notice before medical leave of absences (outside of emergencies). I had to guess an approximate date to get paper work started and get my maternity leave approved put in. I got lucky because I picked the right date.
Little baby boy is expected to be born March 26th with my induction starting the evening of March 25th. Unless he comes early, he'll be a firely little Aries living with an Aquarius and Gemini. I'm already so excited to tell him welcome to the world. And pizza. I'm so excited for pizza.
I've been dying for Jersey Mike's and pizza. I told Auggie that in the first two weeks I want Jersey Mike's, pizza, and General Tso's chicken! However, I am also terrified to actually eat again. Seeing how my body reacts to various foods has been very nerve-wracking. Pizza is a food I stopped eating because a single slice set off my blood sugar for hours. I also struggle with pancakes, waffles, and grapes. A 32g Snickers bar does less to my blood sugar than 32g of waffles (syrup included).
Truthfully, I don't recommend pregnancy if you struggle with disordered eating. The whole 9 months is a constant battle against your brain and body.
The feelings are overwhelming some nights. Last night I was crying because "I don't want to be a mommy anymore," "I can't afford a Lincoln." (Yes, I was up past my body's bed time.) I have a lot of very real feelings coming out, and I'm not sure how to handle them all.
Right now, Lincoln is moving around, and it makes me happy. This last month is rough, but he's almost done cooking. I am excited about what's next.
